you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize