hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
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