So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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