The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Randomize
