i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
