Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
