Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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