let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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