What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize