she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
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