The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
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