Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Randomize
