I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Randomize
