I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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