got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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