is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
it was like eating out sand paper
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
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