I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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