first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
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