Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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