Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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