weddingsv make me drug and hornr
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
