can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
