Well apparently he's into motor boating.
So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Randomize
