What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
