and you said cock pushups were impossible
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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