Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I think I died a long time ago.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
where are my eyebrows?
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