The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
