Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
