I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
i believe in u and ur pee
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
