Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
