Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
we made out on top of his cat.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize