My nipple is on Facebook.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
