Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Randomize
