i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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