We need to rekindle our bromance
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
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