something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
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