So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
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