goodnight i made you a song goodbye
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
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