GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
