Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
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