Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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