I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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