ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
