She went from zero to smokin in five shots
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
