Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
