32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
