i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
