In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Randomize
