I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
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I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
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Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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