I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
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