would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
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