U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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