first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
