My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
