I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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