Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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