dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
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