Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
