I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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