Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
