Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Randomize
