dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
