Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
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