i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
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