Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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