I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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