I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
i need some magic done to my vagina
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
